What’s in a Name?

Mrs. Garcia

Today makes 435 days of blissful marriage to the most wonderful man in the world.  The day I walked down the aisle and vowed to love the hubs forever, I was the happiest girl.  I had lots of plans to be the perfect wife…and first on the list was to hyphenate my new last name…I was ready to go from Miss to Mrs. and make it official with my new moniker.  Except, 435 days later, I shamefully admit I have taken very few steps towards this goal.  So what gives?  Why has this process been so taxing and what’s really in a name anyhow?

The name-changing decision comes loaded with touchy factors.  Family expectations, cultural traditions, and professional reputation are only a few of these complex determinants.  In most homes, this can be quite a sensitive issue and emotions tend to run high.  We all know guys can be very territorial.  Take a male dog:  to show he is the alpha and owns it all, he will ritually pee on everything he desires to deem his… While your hubby may not be resorting to such Neanderthal-measures, this sense of ownership, belonging and territorial perspective may just be something he is craving.

For me, it was never a question of whether I was going to keep, change or add-on the hub’s name.  Having quite a unique maiden name, it was a bit difficult to bid it adieu…moreover, as a teacher, my surname is a big part of who I am.  Along those lines, I was also torn because my Poppa was a huge determining factor.  I’ve always been a daddy’s girl and my last name was a direct link to him.  Yet, I very much craved to be united with Javy…I was his and he was mine…and taking his last name was the perfect representation of that.  So I thought of the ideal comprise…Hyphenating.

On our honeymoon, I remember that incredible feeling the first time I was called Mrs. Garcia.  I loved every minute of it…It was perfect.  I was his and that felt really great.   Immediately after our nuptials, I began referring to myself with my new hyphened last name…yet I hadn’t made it legal.  For those of you who have shared a spot in this predicament of mine, you know that for starters, the process of changing your name is tedious and über time consuming.  It was something that I kept putting on the back burner until now…I gave myself a goal…my birthday.  I promised the hubs to have all the needed documentation completed and filled out to make my new status official.

I started with the Social Security office…Thanks to MissNowMrs.com I was able to have a pretty detailed game plan and as part of the hub’s Valentine’s gift, I sent out the first name-change request.  So here’s to the future…I’m excited to being one step closer to officially being Mrs. Garcia…even if I am 435 days late!

Blissful Lovin’ Friends,

Mrs. Nicki Garcia ;)

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A Love Note to My Best Friend, My Lover, My Husband…

Under the Veil

To My Soulmate,

How do I find words adequate enough to describe my feelings for you? Words always flow from my head and yet, as I write such a profound piece, I fall short.

Mi amor, there has always been a plan for us; there has never been a moment in our young lives God wasn’t preparing us for one another. Growing up, I prayed for my future…I asked for God to guide and form me into the woman that you needed, desired, craved, loved and adored. I didn’t know who you were…I had no clue how you looked…Your personality, likes and dislikes were all a mystery to me…and yet I loved you. I knew somewhere in this great big universe you existed and my heart yearned to meet you.

Through trials, tribulations and brokenness- I ached to meet you. In happy times of celebration, successes and accomplishments- I longed to rejoice with you…

…And then one day you came in a rather unique way. June 18, 2010 was one of the happiest days of my life. I had finally met you…My heart whispered a sigh of peaceful relief- “There you are…I’ve wondered where you were…I always knew you were out there and now you’re here with me and everything is finally right in my world.

From that day on every day has been Valentine’s Day…My love, you make me a better person.  You inspire me to live a life of greatness and look past the hundreds of defects in me.  You make me feel cherished and loved…adored and desired.  You make me want to live for you, for us.  Now I know why I feel like I’ve loved you forever…because our love isn’t a new love; it’s been long-growing in my heart for as long as I can remember.

So here’s to us…our life, our love, our future…My heart will forever belong to you and will love you for all eternity.

With all the love in my heart,

Your Wife

P.S. I hope you forgive me for not buying you a Valentine’s card at the grocery store…figured this would be a better route to go…and I procrastinated and they ran out of all the good ones ;) .

 

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Rules for a Happy Marriage

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Picture courtesy of Etsy

Nowadays, coming home from a beautiful wedding always makes me giddy and quite content with life.  However, there was a time (before meeting my love) that the sight of a nuptial-invite frustrated and saddened me.  I wanted so much to be blissfully in love and meet my soul mate… I yearned to be a wife and I deeply craved what “those couples” had.  Yet, the more I wanted it, the more distant it seemed to be.

Ladies and gents, these days, I can confidently declare it was ALL WORTH THE WAIT…Being married to this gorgeous man snoozing next to me is a dream come true- it’s my Heaven on Earth- everyday.

So what makes our relationship so blissfully successful?  The answer is easy, we were made for each other; we complete one another.

But more specifically, here are some guidelines we live by to keep our peaceful relationship intact.

 

  • Respect:  At the heart of our coupledom is such an honest sense of respect.  I value the hub’s thoughts and opinions, as he does mine.  Quite frankly, I think he’s the smartest man in the world…so I involve him in all my decisions.  You see, I never ever want to hurt this precious man.  I wish to protect him from any harm, including the hurtful repercussions my actions may cause.  Thus, I watch my tongue and strive to communicate in a tender manner; I value him and respect him for the man he was before I met him, the husband he now is and everything he wishes to be in the future.  The feeling is mutual…With a healthy dose of respect, everything comes down a little smoother…It’s that spoonful of sugar mentality.

 

  • Laugh, Love and then Laugh some more:  We are always laughing with each other and at each other.  I often find myself acting silly just to hear the hubs chuckle…it makes me happy…it cheers me up.  Whether we do a silly dance or make a funny face, we are always having fun.  That is the beauty of a romantic relationship coupled with a friendship.  He is my very best friend, so why wouldn’t I laugh with my favorite person?  According to Psychology Today, laughter reduces pain, improves job performance; simply stated, it brings people together and makes you a better person…as if that wasn’t enough, studies now show that laughing helps your blood vessels function better.  So bust a move or crack a joke…whatever you do, make sure you and your sweet laugh so hard a little peepee escapes!

 

  • Be Considerate:  Probably one of the easiest ways to make your relationship a happy one is to be considerate of one another.  We all have needs and desires…we crave a partner that recognizes this and strives to make our lives a little easier…You see, you are each other’s “it” people…You’re a team… If you aren’t making each other’s lives easier, then who will?  Working together and being thoughtful of your lover’s needs will create happy husbands and wives, which definitely equals happy lives.

 

  • Make Love NOT War:  The hippies had it all right with this anti-war slogan…Make your house a peaceful one by loving more and fighting less.  Speak kindly to each other.  Along those lines, desire your partner and make them feel needed and truly wanted.  Send them sweet messages, fulfill each other’s fantasies…but remember for a person, especially a woman, to feel “in the mood,” all other needs must be met.

Gentlemen, take heed of this:  Biologically, we women require more than just physical intimacy…we are the whole package and beseech it as well.  If one piece of this complex puzzle is missing, we can’t just “switch on”.  Remember this catchy little phrase INTIMACY = IN-TO-ME-SEE …If you take the time to see into us, we promise to reward all that effort with a lifetime of happiness.

 

  • Put Each Other First:  I may offend some with this statement because there are peeps reading this that may put friends or work in front of their lover…I’m here to say, this behavior isn’t acceptable and will hurt your relationship in the end.  Yep…I said it.  Your relationship should be your top priority…Of course you have to fulfill necessary obligations…I mean the majority of us aren’t in the position to blow off work and hang out all day with our lover; that is simply unrealistic and unhealthy.  I fully believe we each need to have our own thing going for us…However, we can’t let our jobs govern our coupledom.  Along those lines, we also can’t let our friends rule our free time.  We need a healthy balance.  But your marriage/relationship must always be your top priority.  Be sensitive to this rule in particular…The more supported your lover feels the happier you will be.

So to my favorite newlyweds…these are my tips to you!  I pray for millions of happily-ever-after moments to come!  Here’s to the future of all the beautiful couples out there!

Blissful Lovin,

Nicki G. The Blissful Wife

P.S.  I fully believe in the power of prayer as a couple…That is my number one; however, I have expressed that in previous posts, so I thought I would add to my list some other tidbits necessary for a blissful marriage.

 

 

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Little Letters

Typewriter

Picture courtesy of MyTypewriter

Dear January, Where’d you go?!  I blinked and you were over…Wow.  Even with your extra day, it seems your stay was awfully short…no worries, I am eagerly awaiting your friends June and July anyway, so make them come quick!  Dear Exhaustion,Your stay is no longer needed nor welcomed…I’d like to gain back the quality time I get to spend with sleep, rest and my cozy bed.  Dear New Jersey, I am excited to meet you tomorrow.  I wonder what you’ll be like…Are you really mostly Snookie/J-Wow?  Or perhaps more Bon Jovi/Frank Sinatra?  Hoping I get a little bump with my Frank!  Dear Family, I am looking forward to seeing you all and celebrating yet another beautiful union!  May the special couple experience all the marital bliss they deserve!  Dear Luggage,  We both know we have a hate/hate relationship…Let’s call a spade a spade, right?  I loathe packing and you never let me fit EVERYTHING I want in your confined storage space.  THEN I even have to pay for your flight?!  I mean, COME ON!   Sad thing is, I am not the only women out there that holds much contempt for you…that’s comforting.   Dear Florida Lotto,I’ve gone on strike from you…I am actually kinda angry and pretty disappointed in your actions.  You don’t play very nice…I give and give and give–and all you do is take and take and take.  Maybe the Jersey Shore lotto and I will be more amicable.  Dear Husband, I love and adore you…with every fiber in my being.  However, please understand why I CAN NEVER SHARE A LUGGAGE WITH YOU.  I don’t even have enough space for myself, much less another human’s belongings (refer to above statements).  When we blissfully wed, we became one in all things EXCEPT luggage…Capiche?  Dear Blissful Fans, I am missing you tremendously!  I long for the days I get to re-visit my daily therapeutic sessions with the keyboard again.  Stay tuned for March’s issue of DISfunkshion- My Carmen Electra interview gets published! Woot! Woot!

Blissful Kisses,

Nicki G. The Blissful Wife

 

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Out with the Old and In with the New

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Picture courtesy of HealthplusBeauty

I am not quite sure what it is about the end of a new year, but every time December 31st rings around, my heart can’t help but feel quite nostalgic and maybe a little sad…Perhaps it’s the somber tone of the infamous Auld Lang Syne song traditionally belted at midnight (Did you know that was the name of that tune? ;) ).  Or possibly it’s the fact that according to Mayan calendars, we await the possibility of the world ending with each firework that’s set off…Regardless and without fail, the end of a year gets me every time.

This year, though, I tweaked my perspective…While I still felt the pang in my heart as the ball dropped, I realized I had much to be thankful for and even more to look forward too.  I started thinking of the clean slate given to us each new year…For us Catholic girls donned in the nice-white dresses à la Billy Joel, it resembles that feeling of freedom after Confession, a brand new soul of sorts.

While for some poor fools, January 1st automatically represents the R-Day- Resolution Day:  The act of conjuring a list of ridiculously empty promises, deemed ‘resolutions’ that will be broken by January 5th.   For others, the beginning of the year is taken seriously and the idea of a fresh start is refreshing and absolutely necessary.  Let’s resolve to be the second type and forget the R-Day groupies.

This got me thinking…This new year, why not welcome it with anticipation, laughter, and love?  Say goodbye to all the “old” that was holding you back and bringing you down only leaving room to embrace the beauty that is to come.  These gems of wisdom are for all of our blissful readers.

Sometimes, in a relationship we can become fixated on past mistakes.  We hold on to the grudge for the sake of punishing our lover.  Holding that control over our relationships gives us a false image of love.  It creates animosity and breeds anger; not allowing us to move beyond it and love past it.  Communicate with your partner about how to make your relationship the best in 2013!  Make a promise to love better and become the improvement you desire to see in your relationship.  Love in the present and in the future…not in the past.  Create amazing memories together; be silly with your lover.  Have a ball with your other halves and toast to your blissful relationships.

For my friends dealing with heartbreak and those who are hanging solo- this is a brand new year, filled with new promise!  The ‘new promise’ I write about is referring to a commitment to self-love!  I challenge you to resolve to love yourself enough to overcome your heartbreak or anything holding you back.  Make this year everything you want it to be.  Embrace your inner and outer beauty!!  Think of all you want for this year.  Focus on enjoying your life and having fun.  Laugh and laugh often!  Learn about yourself and about what you desire out of love.  Create a vision board of all that you want for this year.  Develop a mantra that includes everything you want and need…repeat it often and with confidence.  Cheers to you and all the magic the big 13 holds in store for you!

So what do you think?! Share your thoughts!

Blissful Loving Friends,

Nicki G. The Blissful Wife

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Pay it Forward

pay-it-forwardImage Credit

Happy Friday Y’all!  We’ve made it through the fourth week in January already….Hard to believe, huh?!  For most, the end of the work week is a magical time filled with rainbows and butterflies, perhaps even a mental firework or two.  The mere thought of disconnecting from the five-day enslavement and shutting off those aggravating alarms, makes me giddy inside.

I must admit, it has been a pretty brutal week.  One of those that starts off smooth and peaks with one of the most embarrassing teacher moments-LIKE, EVER-(perhaps I will one day share).  I’ve had my portion of irritating episodes this week, yet today was different.

Like many-a-morning, I pull up to the Starbucks drive-thru (HEAVEN) dreaming of the hazelnut iced coffee deliciousness that would soon melt my mouth and infuse some much needed caffeine into my veins.  I happily order and drive up to pay, only to find out the black mini-van before me had taken care of my breakfast order: sandwich included.  WOW.  I couldn’t believe it…The Starbucks chick smiles her contagious grin and gingerly tells me, “Happy Friday!  The car in front took care of your order…she wanted to wish you a great day…”  WOW.  I was humbled and couldn’t help but feel blessed.  I, of course, kept the random act of kindness going…I paid it forward and took care of the car behind me…Talk about a chain of happiness…

So friends, pay the love forward today…spread the joy…and enjoy your Friday!  That is today’s blissful revelation!

Blissful Acts,

Nicki G. The Blissful Wife

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Back from My Un-Announced Sabbatical

blissful The Not So Ordinary Wife

I abandoned you all for a little over a month and while “my vida” has been blissful, my writing-brain hasn’t!  Somewhere between the holidays, work and life–I lost my gumption.  The more time passed, the more difficult it was to come up with a post, until now.

The holidays seemed to have flown by.  And before I realized it, we rang in a new year!  The way I see it, 2013 holds much promise and loads of happiness to look forward to… Friends getting married, new home on the horizon, and maybe a baby or two… Eventually! ;)

With a new year, come some new changes.  I want to make the blog more interactive…more blissfully YOU!  I want to know the topics YOU want to read about- your issues, blissful or not!  BlissfulVida dreams of catering to your needs, wants and desires.  With that said, I encourage you to write me, anonymously or not.  Trust that I will always keep your confidence in the posts.  Fridays will become a combination of Blissful Revelations and Blissful Topics from YOU!  (I so want to belt out and sing à la Aretha- What you want, Baby I got it!)  So ladies and gents, e-mail me at Blissfulwife@blissfulvida.com and personalize your Blissful Vida!

On another note, I won’t be posting every day…We are downsizing a little…I know, Tear L!  The thing is- I just couldn’t keep up.  Writing and being a teacher proved pretty challenging!  However, this little tweak won’t last for long…During the summer we will resume to previously scheduled programming ;).  I will be posting Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays…and whenever I can, I will write more!

So here’s to new beginnings and loads of learning, living, and laughing!

BlissfulVida is back!

Lots of Love, Nicki G. The Blissful Wife

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Little Letters

Picture courtesy of MyTypewriter

Dear Interruptions and Annoyances, You seem to enjoy, all too much, keeping me away from the things I really want to do…like write, read and just relax.  It’s sad to admit, but you get the best of me, every time.  I get cranky, upset and totally frustrated…I am so tired too.  Can you cut me some slack?  I am declaring a new mission in life:  to interrupt and annoy you!  Dear Diet, You’re not winning; I’ve got this… I have two more days of cleansing my body of gross toxins and then I have completed my first 9 days of Isagenix!  As of Friday, I had lost 6 lbs and some inches; I will update you on my success later this week.  Dear $550 Million Dollar Jackpot, What happened?  I thought we had a real connection?!  The hubs and I had already become rather acquainted with you.  We had homes for you with wonderful family and friends.  You were going to do some pretty incredible things when we donated you to places.  I was really looking forward to retiring from my job and spending all this quality time with you too.  We would have had a really wonderful life together…and then you threw it all away.  “Heartbroken” and “Betrayed” just don’t seem to fit my true feelings.  Dear Future Home, We are on the hunt for you à la Red October (some will get the pun…some won’t ;))!  The hubs and I are doing what we’ve got to do to buy our very first home.  We are looking forward to find the place we will raise kids in and continue our happily ever after.  But we are scared.  The market is rough…Cash investors are sweeping up homes before humble couples like us even have a chance to blink.  Nevertheless, it is gonna happen.  We know it; we feel it; we pray for it!  So little home, be patient and wait for us…Don’t betray us like the Power Ball…Blind other potential customers of your beauty and then when we walk through your doors, say “hi” to our hearts and then we’ll know.  Dear Molly Marie, the dog, We’ve got some issues with you little lady…Your father went out of his way to buy Christmas decorations for your peepee pad…He wanted to decorate your little property with holiday lights, but that was, obviously, impossible…so he bought these adorable gingerbread people and snowmen.  Imagine his broken heart when he came home to find you had destroyed his festive work into countless pieces.  No more holiday décor for you, little terrorist!  Dear Future, I’ve got big plans for you.  We are gonna rock this world…2013 will be magical.  I’m looking forward to it.  Dear Husband, This time last year was the commencement of our “Wedding Week”.  We were preparing for the most incredible day of our lives…I remember the feelings within me knowing that in less than five days I would be your wife.  I remember seeing you for the first time at the altar… I remember everything about this time a year ago.  And yet, here we are; preparing for our one year anniversary- talkin about houses and babies.  My love, there isn’t a moment in this life I don’t drop to my knees (mostly mentally) to thank God for our life.  Your support, your love, your everything is exactly what I need in this world.  You never cease to amaze me and every day is a dream come true because I wake up next to you.  Here’s to our love!

Blissful Lovin,

Nicki G. The Blissful Wife

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I am the Jealous-Type…

Photo courtesy of Difference and Age Difference

There, I said it.  I know this may cause controversy, but the truth is I am the jealous-type and I’m not ashamed to proclaim it to you and/or the hubs.  You can imagine this revelation came to me as big surprise.  Quite frankly, I never knew this emotion existed within me.  I am a confident and self-assured woman.  I rarely feel threatened by anyone in relationships or in life…so who was that little green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head the other day?

Let me set the scene:  The hubs, who I trust with all my life and soul, innocently begins to share with me that him and a female employee from another company were going to be working on a project together at his job site.  Instantly, my curiosity peaks and my senses are heightened-crouching-tiger-style.  That’s when it happened; the green-eyed monster took hold of my innocent brain and began to create some rather interesting assimilations “A female…that means a lady…hmm…I wonder if she’s young or old…pretty or ugly…Surely she will notice how hot my sexy husband is…She better back off quick because I will seriously hurt her”.  Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is what instantly plagued my brain.  Am I proud?  Not necessarily.  However, don’t judge me quite yet…Let me finish the story first.

Of course, I hide these crazy thoughts from the hubs and simply respond, “Oh, that’s good…” and the conversation proceeds as usual.  The next evening, when he arrives home, we did what we always do…discuss our day.  Slyly, I insert the following question into the convo- “So, did you and that lady go to lunch?”  “No Babe.”  “Oh, ok.”  The clock ticked and my evil little thoughts took hostage…I finally asked the questions (diarrhea-of-the-mouth-style) that I had really wanted to ask all along, “Was she pretty?  Did she flirt with you?  Was she old?”

He must have thought I was nuts…But slowly he realized I wasn’t kidding.  He quickly answered all the questions (the answers-No, no, and she was old).  I was satisfied; I smiled, winked and sauntered to the bathroom.

I needed time to think about this side of myself.  I had never been jealous when it came to any of my exes (FYI-the list isn’t very long at all).  So what gave?  Within me there existed not a single ounce of doubt when it came to my husband; we are both fully and truly committed to each other.  So why was I reacting this way?  Then it dawned on me…it isn’t him I don’t have faith in, it’s the society we live in today I don’t trust.

You see, I am not jealous…I am simply protective over what belongs to me.  And we all know when it comes to men, women and relationships nowadays; I have every right to be.  Between the commitment-phobes, the girls and guys who find the challenge and conquest the best game and Ashley Madison, infidelity has reached its prime.

Crudely and shamelessly, websites like Ashley Madison promote home wrecking as an adventure; a covert operation with a World-Wide-Web-Ally to boot!  Its slogan alone is unbelievably gross, “Life is short.  Have an affair.”  So no, I am not “jealous” a la Carrie Underwood and her Louisville slugger, but I am protective of my man and my family.  I am entitled to ask questions and he has exactly the same right.

Having said that, there ARE GUIDELINES, friends, for doing it “the right way”.  Being protective is one thing; being obsessive or insecure about it is another.  For starters, TRUST MUST EXIST FROM DAY ONE IN THE RELATIONSHIP.  If you lack confidence in one another from the start, then there will never be peace.  Secondly, you can’t let your imagination fly…We women tend to do that.  Maintaining self-control over your thoughts is crucial.  Finally, you aren’t a cop interrogating a suspect; rather, the discussions must be done with respect and maintain the integrity of your precious relationship.  Remember, above all, you love your partner with all your heart; hence the vigilant concern.

About an hour later, I realized this was an issue that shouldn’t be swept under the table.  I needed to clarify my actions and discuss where the emotional-diarrhea stemmed from.  So, I brought up the topic once again, this time clarifying my feelings in a more understandable fashion.  I wasn’t witty or sarcastic, I was real and sincere.  We had a great talk…and the icing on the cake-his words- “I kinda like this side of you.”

Blissful Protecting,
Nicki G. The Blissful Wife

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Little Letters

Photo courtesy of MyTypewriter 

Dear Holiday Season, I love having you around.  I’ve got more kick in my step and festive songs pleasantly stuck in my head.  But it isn’t just Christmas you bless me with…I get to play dress up on Halloween and create wonderful memories on Thanksgiving; only to lead me to December 25th were we don’t just celebrate Santa’s arrival ;).  The beauty about you is that you don’t exclude anyone; you’ve got something for everyone-Chanukah, Kwanzaa and so much more!  Keep your holiday joy comin’!  Dear Mom, Thanks for going all out on Thanksgiving-as usual.  The beautiful décor, the delicious food and the wonderful time- it was priceless.  I love you and your hard work meant the world to me.  Dear Size 12, I hope you realize how hard I am working to fit into you again. I miss my coffee, I long for my Diet Coke and wine; eating real food, well, that is just a distant memory now…but it will all be worth it.  As I write, my body is currently detoxifying itself…Wondering how it feels?  INSERT IMAGE OF ME BREAKING INTO SONG- sing to the tune of Greece’s You’re the One that I Want- I’ve got chills, they’re multiplying and my head’s banging outta control, cause the toxins detoxifying, are electrifying! I could keep going…but I’ll spare you the further torture.  So yeah, size 12- here I come!  Dear Blissful Friends, Not sure if you know this about me or not, but I am an awful singer so I’m glad you just read that rather than actually heard me belt it out as I wrote!  I hope you all had a marvelous holiday, with family drama at a minimum ;)…but if not, don’t fret- Christmas is around the corner!  Dear Corey and Topanga, characters in one of my favorite childhood shows-Boy Meets World, The hubs and I are excited for your return to the small screen in a sequel to your original sitcom.  The inner 90’s children within us celebrated upon hearing the glorious news that we would once again see one of the most iconic couples in our childhood reunited and raising a child of their own.  We promise to be loyal fans once again and perhaps throw a viewing party on your debut ;).  Now all we need is a Full House reunion… Dear Husband, I am so excited for the surprise you’ve planned on Friday!  I can’t wait!

Blissful Lovin,

Nicki G. The Blissful Wife

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